nothing-to-wear – Nothing2Wear

Ever opened your wardrobe to find that, despite all your clothes, you simply have nothing to wear? Lauren Bravo knows the feeling only too well but, as she explains, it’s time to overcome our wardrobe anxieties

The other week, my colleague Caroline and I were having one of those aggressive compliment battles. “You’re so stylish!” she yelled at me across the desk. “Nooooo, you are mistaken – I am a human dung heap!” I protested. “SHUT UP,” she fired back. “You always look so effortlessly put-together.” And the word “effortlessly” cut through the middle of my “Aw shucks” shield and hit a nerve. Mate, I thought, if only you knew.

I will never see myself as any kind of fashion hotshot (not while most of my clothes are covered in Doritos dust, anyway), but if I can lay claim to any style kudos at all, it is 100 per cent not effortless. I try really hard at getting dressed, actually. I think endlessly about clothes. I shop like it’s a nervous tic. A few days ago, I changed outfit three times just to go to the end of the road, hungover, to buy a sandwich.

Does the “effortlessly stylish” woman even exist? She’s the industry’s favourite unicorn – the off-duty model, the chic French fashion editor. But if I, a non-fashion nobody, find it so hard to put clothes on in the morning, then maybe behind every “well-dressed” woman is a whole lot of sweat and tears. We’re meant to pretend the perfect outfit just falls on by accident, rather than showing our workings.

And I do mean workings. Because getting dressed is a lot like an equation.

Firstly, there’s wanting to look “good” in what you’re wearing. You want something “flattering” that fits well and suits your colouring and performs whatever sorcery it is that “flattering” clothes are expected to do. But, then, there’s wanting to look the other kind of “good” in what you’re wearing – the kind that answers to fashion, to trends, to tribal identities and to your own personal idea of what makes a killer outfit. (NB: to complicate things, this part often ignores “flattering” altogether, or goes deliberately against it).

Then you can factor in a load of agonising sub-criteria, such as: is it appropriate for the location and occasion? How about the weather? And you subconsciously offset each answer against how much you actually care – because sometimes dressing inappropriately for the situation is exactly the thing that’s going to make you feel best, like when I wore a hot-pink wiggle dress to my nan’s funeral.

Lauren wearing a midi skirt, t-shirt, trench coat and brogues – all carefully chosen and “100 per cent not effortless”

Then (oh, you didn’t think we were done did you?) comes comfort. Comfort involves so much more than just “heels vs flats”. Comfort is a continually evolving challenge. My high-waisted, cropped jeans, for example, look great in the morning but, after lunch, the rigid denim tends to get a bit too pinchy at the crotch. This is, obviously, not ideal.

And even when you’ve worked through that mental flow chart, there are other considerations and curveballs. Was I wearing the same thing last time I saw these people? What coat works with this skirt length? Hang on, is my “good” bra in the wash? Do I now have to start this entire, godforsaken process again?

“The process begins while I’m still in the shower, when I mentally go through my wardrobe,” says Leila, a content executive. “Of course, the outfit I decided on never looks how it looked in my head and, five to 10 outfit changes later, I’m fully panicking, about to miss my train.”

“It’s completely normal to get changed five times before leaving the house… isn’t it?” frowns Jemma, an old colleague I bumped into on the bus. “I don’t understand people who get their clothes out the night before,” she adds. “There are so many variables that may change in the morning.”

It isn’t hard to recognise that there are a whole heap of pressures on women as we stand in front of the wardrobe each morning

For most of my life, I assumed it was normal, too – just the occupational hazard of being a clothes obsessive. Or even, for that matter, just being a woman. It isn’t hard to recognise that there are a whole heap of pressures on women as we stand in front of the wardrobe each morning; as Caitlin Moran writes in How To Be A Woman, “When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.” But could the daily wardrobe meltdown be a symptom of something internal, too?

Clinical psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd tells me it probably does have a basis in anxiety and low self-esteem. Clothes make a handy outlet for displaced stress, she explains, and deliver quick validation when you feel insecure. “It feels like an outfit is something you can get right, whereas, for most things in life, there’s not a perfect answer. The time you spend evaluating what to wear is a kind of avoidance of those other things,” she says. “[You think] ‘because I got that outfit right, it’s going to be the perfect evening.’”

So, how can we curb the “I have nothing to wear” meltdowns? Well, you could adopt your own sort of uniform, which is great if your style lends itself to a capsule collection of grey roll-neck jumpers, but is basic hell for a trend junkie. Better-quality basics might help, though, fewer tricky prints, more “classic” shapes – the sorts of pieces that make you feel good and also go with everything else in your wardrobe. Dresses or jumpsuits are also a good bet, as you don’t have to match a top and bottom, and recently I’ve had moderate success with loose culottes, instead of the punishing jeans.

But maybe it’s less about what we wear and more about how we feel when we wear it. Dr Hibberd recommends noting down three positive comments you’ve received each day, beyond your outfit, to build confidence and self-esteem. “The scrutiny you put yourself under is 100 times more than anybody else gives you, because they’re thinking about themselves,” she says. “If you’re seeing friends, think: how much weight does their outfit hold in the experience you have with them? Remind yourself that it’s only a small percentage of what makes people impressed by you.”

If I could start getting out of the door on time in the morning, that might be the most impressive thing of all.

@laurenbravo

Source: https://www.the-pool.com/fashion/fashion-honestly/2017/20/lauren-bravo-on-having-nothing-to-wear

Modern women have adopted a “wear it once culture” when it comes to their wardrobes and only wear items a handful of times before considering them ‘old’, according to a new study by Barnardo’s Retail.

A detailed survey of 1,500 women aged over 16 into women’s fashion habits found the majority of fashion purchases see the light of day just seven times.

The study from children’s charity Barnardo’s to support its #MyBarnardosDonation campaign found the average woman typically spends £64 per month – or £768 per year on clothes. Yet most of these clothes are left languishing in wardrobes unworn. The charity is calling out for women to tackle their bulging wardrobes and give away the clothes and accessories they are no longer wearing. All donations will be sold to support the many vulnerable children across the UK.

It also emerged around 33 per cent of women consider clothes ‘old’ after wearing them fewer than three times. The main reason given for ditching new purchases was changes in weight (49 per cent), with women also disregarding clothes that were bought on a whim (23 per cent).

And one in seven said Facebook, Twitter and Instagram were strong influences for the culture, because being pictured twice and “tagged” in the same dress on different nights out was a fashion no-no.

Zoe Abrams, Director at Barnardo’s, said:

We’re all guilty of wearing an outfit a few times and then forgetting about it, but we were surprised to find the average woman’s wardrobe has at least 10 items that will never be worn again.

That is why we have launched the #MyBarnardosDonation campaign to encourage women across the UK to donate those unworn items to our stores, which we hope will generate over £100,000 worth of clothing donations. The profits from selling the items will fund Barnardo’s work with some of the UK’s most vulnerable and disadvantaged children and young people.

So this Saturday, instead of going shopping once again for another outfit, we’re asking people to put aside an hour to sort through their wardrobe and put those items they no longer wear to good use by donating them to their local Barnardo’s store.

Linda Blair, clinical psychologist and the author of The Key to Calm, is supporting the #MyBarnardosDonation campaign. She says:

Having a clear out is a great way to help you feel more in control of your wardrobe and your life. People think they need lots of clothing, that they need to be surrounded by choices, however, psychological research shows that having more choices actually leads to indecisiveness and less satisfaction rather than greater contentment.

Why not take a good look at those clothes you no longer want or need, and give whatever you can to Barnardo’s? Not only will you feel better, but your donations will make a huge difference to vulnerable children across the UK. Please join me in supporting the #MyBarnardosDonation campaign.

Barnardo’s sells clothing and other items in over 590 stores across the UK, and 100 per cent of the profit goes towards transforming the lives of the most vulnerable and disadvantaged children and young people across the UK.

To find out more visit www.barnardos.org.uk

Additional Survey Statistics:

•Dresses were most likely to be bought for a one-off event and then discarded, with wedding and holiday outfits topping the list

•Of the women who said they regularly wore items on a handful of occasions before putting them to the back of the wardrobe, one in three said they ‘went off clothes after wearing them a couple of times’

•Just over one in four said they were unlikely to wear clothes again because they had put on weight

•It also emerged typically women now spend £37.43 on a new piece.

•One in five women polled claimed “seasonal changes in fashion trends” left them feeling unenthused about a recent purchase

•One in 10 women wear a piece of clothing just three times before it is left gathering dust in the back of the wardrobe.

About Barnardo’s:

In 2014, unwanted items donated to Barnardo’s raised over £10 million for the charity.

The clothes and other items are sold in approximately 590 stores across the UK, with 100% of profits going towards transforming the lives of vulnerable and disadvantaged children and young people across the UK.

Barnardo’s believes in bringing out the very best in every child through the work of its services, campaigning and research expertise.

Barnardo’s works directly with over 200,000 children, young people and their families every year. We run over 900 vital services across the UK, including counselling for children who have been abused, fostering and adoption services, vocational training and disability inclusion groups.

Every Barnardo’s service is different but each believes in the potential in every child and young person, no matter who they are, what they have done or what they have been through.

The very real anxiety of having nothing to wear

Once worn, thrice shy – British women’s wardrobe habits exposed!

Modern women have adopted a “wear it once culture” when it comes to their wardrobes and only wear items a handful of times before considering them ‘old’, according to a new study by Barnardo’s Retail.